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Not So Funny Now: Defense Attorneys Are Serious

On the twisting Ohio River is a shinning city. In this bustling city is a skyscraper. In the impressive building is a conference room with a view of the river. In the leather highback chair across from a frightened man sits a Cincinnati Criminal Defense attorney. This frightened man has told his fair share of lawyer jokes and has often ridiculed the profession of law. Today this Cincinnati criminal defense lawyer is his favorite person in the universe. This attorney is his only hope to return him to the world he once knew.

The alleged criminal was in the wrong place at the wrong time and with many bad reasons to be there. He didn’t murder his business partner in a violent spasm, but somebody did. The partner was having an affair with his wife, embezzling cash from the business, accusing his son of stealing, black mailing his brother and laughing in his face. He had reason to kill and his dna and finger prints were all over the condo. The partner was killed with a 9 mm glock, the same kind of hand gun that the man had used when he was on the police force. The prosecutor immediately suggested a plea bargain that would take the death penalty off the table, but send him up the river for the rest of his life. The circumstantial case was overwhelming. The attorney hinted it might be his only real option. The man refused the deal, he knew he was innocent. The attorney was delighted because he enjoyed difficult cases. The attorney didn’t ask if the man was innocent because he didn’t really care. The attorney knew the man would say he was innocent, he just wouldn’t know if it was the truth or a lie.

A defense attorney reviews the evidence and discovers the holes in the case against the client. It is a matter of studying all the exhibits and allegations and determining if the evidence has enough holes that reasonable doubt can be established. Most defense attorneys have to walk a tight rope, balancing facts with supposition, creating possibilities, finding alternative theories and inspiring doubt. Rarely does a defense lawyer look at a defendant like a friend or brother. The bond between client and lawyer is simple; get the defendant to walk free or at least get the best deal possible. Can murder one be reduced to involuntary man slaughter? That might be a positive outcome.

Occasionally, in the service of a client’s interest, a lawyer express disdain for the person. They want to underscore the idea that this person, despite being scum on the pond of the world, needs the jury to provide blind justice based on the law, not on popularity. The man charged with murder is depending on his attorney to save his aspirations for a normal life. The attorney is tasked with looking at the facts, as they are and navigating the best path through the legal system.

A good attorney will orchestrate a defense that forms the facts into a good narrative to present to the jury. A good lawyer will anticipate the strength and weakness of the prosecutions case. A good attorney can mean the difference between life as a free person and death. If he survives, the man will never tell another lawyer joke.